OK, I may be dating myself, but I remember doing training in the eighties, before VCR’s. When showing videos in class, I had to learn how to use a projector – very similar to the picture below. Videos are very effective for telling stories about a concept, so I would always use one. Problem was, the reel would often break in mid-story, causing the the participants to groan. I had to quickly patch the reel up, very gingerly thread it back on the sprockets and start again in mid story.
This is kind of like an analogy of life and change. At first the reel looks choppy and awkward, but before you know it the story is unfolding just as it should. The reel often broke more than once – just like in life, we have to get it back on track, awkward as it may seem – and in your case, maybe with a new and exciting story that will feel jerky and awkward at first, but will soon feel as smooth as silk. Boy! Was I happy when they invented the VCR! These days, my story continues to unfold as I learn newer and newer technologies to deliver training. What’s your story? Your need to evolve?
What stories do you tell yourself about your life and experiences? What is getting in the way of your resolve to move ahead? The human race has always been about story telling, we talk on the ‘phone, face to face, by email, text sharing and telling all about ourselves and how we interact with the world. How we express ourselves through language and the stories we tell will determine how our lives unfold. Learn to listen to your language and what it is telling you about you.
Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize. Your words are the greatest power you have. The words you choose and their use establish the life you experience. ~ Sonia Choquette ~
I have been doing a bit of learning lately about Quantum Physics, Neuroscience and the human brain. Heady stuff (pardon the pun), but crucial to know, how we as humans construct our own stories, and how we can change those stories for better ones. The brain runs on emotion first – all thoughts first arrive at the Reptilian Brain, the automatic part of our brain responsible for basic survival. (Thanks to Dr David Krueger – Mentor Path)
We are all emotional humans, and emotions like any other activity in the brain are all about energy. The first thing our brains do is filter information through the Reptilian brain, and if the information gets stuck there all we see is the danger – the information never gets to the rational mind. So if we focus on danger, that’s what we get. If the Reptilian Brain tell us we can’t do something because of belief we have stuck in there –we can get stuck and focus on what’s not working. What we give energy to – is what we manifest.
I learned something really important the other day. Being someone who is very focussed on improving, after I deliver a workshop, the first thing I usually did was to pore over the feedback to see what people thought, and look for ways to improve. I used to also ask people to rate me as a facilitator, looking for confirmation that I was still good. Then I would agonize over the 1 or 2 not so good scores, and I am not talking about low scores, (I almost never got those) just the ones where I was not scored excellent. What!?
What I have learned is that this was a story lodged in my brain that told me, I needed to prove myself over and over again. (now, I know the origin of that belief, and had thought I had chased it out – NO!) Changing my behaviour (simply by changing the workshop feedback form) has resulted in me no longer looking for confirmation that I need to prove myself. It has removed the ‘danger’ so that I can move ahead, still improve, but not focus on the negative mindset that I had created for myself, but to focus on having a ‘Growth Mindset”’ that believes that I can change through experience and application of new ideas.
This is a small example, but powerful in that all it took was a small step to change an outmoded belief and behaviour.
Do you have an ‘Old Story’ that needs re-telling? Do you have a fixed mindset about certain things? let me give you an example…
Do you have a belief about certain people or circumstances? i.e. – they won’t buy from me, they are not my market, I hate technology, Social Media is overrated…, I am too old, the job market sucks right now…the list goes on about what we tell ourselves about the reality we create for ourselves. There is a constant conversation going on in our heads, and we are always looking for confirmation that the reality we have created is in fact real. Fact is – all reality is your reality – something you alone have created.
Change is uncomfortable, the new story just doesn’t look the same, it feels awkward, but in time the sprockets will line up and your movie will be running smoothly again. Some tips to changing the story…
1. Ask yourself when are you looking for confirmation that something is true (i.e. My *relative* goes out of their way to upset me)
2. Ask yourself “Where is the evidence that this is true?” (remove confirmation bias)
3. Write three columns on a piece of paper, like this
“What is the behaviour I see?” | “How do I usually react” | What is my desired(best) response”
4. What’s the story you are telling yourself about the situation? What’s the origin?
5. Listen to your own language, is it supporting a growth mindset or a negative mindset.
Try this technique for all of the situations in your life where you feel stuck, in a slump or in ‘analysis paralysis. I think you will find it useful and making small changes every day will pay off with big changes down the road.
To your success!