In Dundee

 Know When to Fold…

Focus… Ironically, this has been the theme of my newsletters throughout the spring and summer, giving my subscribers advice on how to focus on their core strengths or goals. My deep dark secret was that I had lost focus about what the dream for my business was. I got caught up in what other people thought I should do/be, and what I thought I should do/be. This had been going on for some time, as I immersed myself in endless courses, home study programs that promised that I would get rich if I would just follow their system. Looking back, there was a huge sense of unease, a feeling that I did not measure up, or that I was just not ‘getting it’- surely the ordinary mortals who followed the system and found success were no better or worse than I – what was wrong? It’s great to talk about focus, but what does it really mean? Does it mean doggedly following the path until you get to the end (the goal), or does it mean taking a meta view of your life and ditching what’s not working for you or that doesn’t feel right? For me it’s the latter. The message is – it’s OK to quit, in fact it’s critical to quit if what you are doing does not feel right. Thing is… In school we are taught to persevere, not to give up – and that’s exactly the model I was following. I chose this path, I need to make it work, I don’t want to be seen as a failure. I was measuring myself up against others whom I perceived as being successful, were they? I must confess that the answers were not coming to me I was in what we call in the coaching world ‘Analysis Paralysis’. Sometimes, taking yourself away from the situation gives you the clarity needed to see the right path. This summer I was grateful to do just that – for 37 days, I travelled Scotland and lived the life of a Gypsy, deciding each day where I would go and what I would see. No boundaries, no set goals (other than to visit Skye) – for once having the liberty to be a free spirit and have time to reflect, get clarity. Did I ? Heck no – all I did was have fun. I re-connected with family and my heritage, explored and met some fabulous people. Coming home… it was with a new lens that I returned, still not 100% clear, but what I would see was this. I needed to quit a lot of stuff. I quit attending fr*ee teleseminars. I quit all the newsletter subscriptions, I quit all the member sites I belonged to. I quit going to networking events that were time wasters. I quit creating courses that people did not show up for. I quit a bunch of stuff – so much so that some folks wondered where the heck I was. To be honest, with that much time on my hands, I started getting anxious– what was I doing? Where was I going? Was I on the right path? However, I allowed the space. Then the magic started to happen. Because I had allowed space in my life and time, my core business started to take off! Calls were coming in, and all of a sudden everything that I had built, started paying off. Why? My focus was back on my dream, back on why I first started out in business for myself, not what others thought I should do – what I wanted to do. I felt more energized – my passion was back. Finally, I am living what I advise others to do – live to your strengths, give yourself permission to fail and quit if it does not feel right. Have the faith in yourself and your ability to do what you know is right. If need be take some time away and take a long look back at what you have created – you will see the beauty.